In Indonesia, a country where marriage has traditionally been seen as a milestone and a reflection of personal success, a new challenge is emerging: plummeting marriage rates. This issue is particularly prominent among young Indonesians, who are struggling to find partners and settle down. But what's driving this trend? And how are Indonesians adapting to this changing landscape?
The Changing Landscape of Marriage
A decade ago, Talitha Rarasty, a makeup artist for wedding events, envisioned marriage as the ultimate achievement. However, as she approaches her 36th birthday, she remains single, not by choice but due to the lack of a suitable partner. Ms. Rarasty's story is not an isolated one; the number of young Indonesians getting married has been steadily declining over the past decade. In 2014, 2.1 million Indonesians tied the knot, but by 2024, that number had dropped to 1.47 million. According to the country's Central Statistics Agency, fewer than 30% of Indonesians aged 16 to 30 were married as of December.
Economic and Social Factors
Sociologist Desintha Dwi Asriani from Gadjah Mada University in Yogyakarta explains that marriage is no longer solely about the wedding and having children. Economic considerations, such as housing, raising children, and daily expenses, have become significant factors that make people feel marriage requires substantial financial resources. Despite this shift, marriage remains an important institution in Indonesia, where religion and culture play a central role. Family is considered crucial for instilling nationalist values and religious teachings.
The Challenges of Online Dating
The rise of online dating has added complexity to the process of finding a partner. Ms. Rarasty, like many others, tried dating apps but faced challenges. She encountered married men or those already in relationships, leading her to become more cautious. Relationship coach Rastrianez, who prefers to use only one name, notes that negative experiences online have sparked fear and doubt among young people seeking marriage. A social media trend on TikTok, where most users are Gen Z, even declared, 'Marriage is scary,' reflecting the concerns about cheating, neglecting children, and meeting the wrong person.
A Shift Towards Offline Connections
In response to these challenges, some Indonesians are turning to offline methods to find love. One innovative approach involves displaying single people's CVs in shopping centers, a strategy popularized by the matchmaking service Cindo Match. This service uses artificial intelligence to generate images of individuals on the CVs, allowing potential partners to view them. Customers can pay to see real images and gain contact details with the owners' consent. Cindo Match's co-founder, Angeline Chandra, highlights the success of face-to-face matchmaking events, with at least 40 couples dating and two marriages resulting from these services.
Economic Barriers and Government Initiatives
Economic barriers, such as the difficulty of buying a house for certain income groups, are also delaying marriage. To address this, the Indonesian government's Ministry of Religion has initiated mass weddings, providing dowries, food packages, wedding gifts, and photo sessions to couples who cannot afford a traditional wedding. In December, about 50 couples participated in such an event at the Istiqlal Mosque, and similar events were held in June and September.
A Complex Issue
However, sociologist Dr. Asriani argues that the government should consider broader factors to boost the marriage rate. She suggests that improving the appeal of marriage beyond financial assistance is essential. The Indonesian government has been contacted for comment on this matter.
Accepting the Single Life
Despite her desire to get married, Ms. Rarasty has come to terms with her current situation. She emphasizes the importance of self-care, hard work, and staying open to opportunities. She believes that marriage will happen when the time is right, and she is embracing her life as a single woman.
